to listen and hear

Silence-- how often does the silence overtake the sound? Sitting in solitude, the absence of any utterances whatsoever, listening.

Every once in awhile, life can be very eloquent. You can go along from day to day not noticing very much, not seeing or hearing very much, and then all the sudden, when you least expect it very often, something speaks to you with such power that it catches you off guard, makes you listen whether you want to or not. Something speaks to you out of your own life with such directness that it is as if it calls you by name and forces you to look where you have not had the heart to look before, to hear something that maybe for years you have not had the wit or the courage to hear. -A Room Called Remember by Frederick Buechner

Yesterday I sat in the passenger seat of my best friend's car as raindrops trickled down each of the windows. We'd spent most of the car ride singing at the top of our lungs, dancing ridiculously. But by this time, we were both ready to just be still. We were going back and forth, choosing our favorite rainy day song selections. My friend suggested a song called Towering by Seryn, and I'll never forget her remark that followed: "You can't just simply listen to this song, but it's more of a song you have to listen to with your soul, and your heart."

This cued the silence.

During the five minute duration of the song, it didn't really hit me, nor did it hit me that night, or the next morning. I didn't even realize it until about 20 minutes ago. There's another song that requires listening from more than just the ears. This song needs to reach into the depths of our soul and to take root there. This song is the voice of our Father, the voice of God.

I remember listening to sermon after sermon as a child, regarding listening to what the Lord was telling us to do, and doing it. So I tried that. I sat there, waiting for something majestic to happen. I waited for a booming voice, giving me explicit instructions, or for a tap on the shoulder from an angel sharing with me orders from God. I remember wondering if He would ever get in touch with me. And I thought because I wasn't audibly hearing His voice, that I was either doing something wrong, or not listening hard enough.

It wasn't until years later that it became clear: no one had ever taught me how to listen to God. In most cases, an angel is not sent, and a booming voice is not heard. But God wants so desperately for us to hear Him. He's speaking, and He's speaking loud enough for us to hear, but most of the time, when God speaks, He does not intend for us to hear it with our ears. God speaks to us through scripture- the Bible. Those are His words. They are God-breathed, and they are for us. From cover to cover, we can read of His love for us, of the promises He vows to keep, of His desires. He can speak to us through a friend, as He spoke to me yesterday. He can use anything and everything- an experience, good or bad, a message in church, the actions of a complete stranger. And it is up to us to be listening, heart open, always ready to take in what the Lord is trying to teach us.

Until now, my life had been crowded with distractions without even realizing it: the pressure to obtain a high GPA, my constant gravitation towards a crowd of people, being too quick to talk and too forgetful to listen, and especially my phone that sometimes seems to be glued to my hand. All of these things have been taking away from hearing God's voice, and I have been too busy living in the noise of the world to even notice.

God knew this too, and His intricate plan was set up all too perfectly-- this week in the Blue Book (a devotion book by Jim Branch, that I highly recommend) I will be learning about the voice of God. And as I do that, I am praying to dive in headfirst into what my Father has in store for me, remembering all He has done, drowning out the noise that obstructs and striving towards what is ahead, ears, heart, soul, eyes, and mind open wide, welcoming Him in.

"I need time to listen, to examine, and to confess, time to take off some of the hats I wear. I need time to listen for the Voice, if for no other reason than so I will recognize it more clearly in the ways it speaks into the noise and bustle of the life I lead." - Robert Benson.